


He's a dead man

by SarcasticSmiler



Series: Procrastinating One Shots [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-25 23:58:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4981786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarcasticSmiler/pseuds/SarcasticSmiler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin and Dwalin cock up a little, requiring a trip to hospital.<br/>The Ri's are not impressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's a dead man

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually based on a true story, I honestly thought the guy's future mother-in-law was gunna kill him

“I’m gunna kill him,” Dori growled, jabbing the end call button on his phone.

“What’s happened?” Nori asked rather distractedly as he looked over some of the final flower arrangement designs.

“Your bloody fiancé has just booked into minor injuries.”

“What? Is he alright?”

“The idiot’s possibly broken his leg.”

“What?! How?” Nori exploded from the chair, rounding on his brother.

“According to Thorin they were larking about on his stag do last night, somehow they fell over each other and this morning his leg is black and blue and he can’t put any weight on it. If it’s broken he could be in a cast up to eight weeks.”

“I’ll kill him.”

-x-

“You’re a dead man,” Thorin grinned at Dwalin as he shoved his phone back in his pocket.

“If I’m going down then I’m taking you with me,” Dwalin groaned, shifting carefully in the hospital wheelchair as he tried to find a comfortable position for his throbbing leg.

“Pretty sure that’s what got us in this situation to begin with,” Thorin joked, not put off in the slightest by the glare his best friend was sending his way.

“And I’m sure Nori will just _love_ to hear how involved you were in our little tumble,” Dwalin pointed out, grinning himself as the blood drained from Thorin’s face.

“You keep your psycho fiancé away from me.”

“Or what?”

“I’ll get Bilbo to stop making you cookies.”

“You make it sound like you actually have control over Bilbo’s kitchen,” Dwalin snorted.

“Well aren’t you a pretty sight,” a new voice called rather cheerfully.

Both men looked up sharply, just in time for a camera flash to blind them.

“The hell, Bofur?” Dwalin cursed, blinking the black dots from his vision.

“Nori’s stuck in traffic, asked me ta come by and get photographic evidence of his, what did he call you? ah yes, ‘walking dead man of a fiancé’,” Bofur grinned as he sent the picture to Nori.

“But it wasn’t my fault,” Dwalin whined.

“Doesn’t matter,” Bofur said, flopping down next to Thorin, “You’re still the idiot who may have broken their leg two weeks before their wedding.”

“I’ll have crutches,” Dwalin grumbled, “I’ll still be able to stand for the ceremony.”

“Oh and crutches will be a delightful addition to the colour scheme and décor,” Bofur answered rather sarcastically, “Need I remind you, you’re marrying a Ri? Those crazy bastards start planning these things as soon as they discover what a wedding even is.”

“I know, I know,” dropping his head into his hands Dwalin conceded defeat.

“Oh figuring out the first dance is gunna be a hoot,” Bofur continued, chuckling over Dwalin’s misery as the large man groaned.

-x-

Dori may have committed a few traffic violations getting to the hospital, but it was still less than what Nori would’ve done had he actually allowed his younger brother to drive.

With faces like thunder the older brothers Ri stormed into the hospital. Ori quickly slipping round them to reach the unsuspecting receptionist first, hoping to save her from misplaced anger.

“Hi,” he greeted, smiling sweetly, “Could you possibly tell us where Dwalin Fundinson is?”

“Fundinson?” the receptionist repeated, scanning the names on her screen, “Oh the stag do injury?”

“Yes,” Nori answered though gritted teeth.

“Are you family?”

“I’m his fiancé.”

“Oh,” a look of sympathy appeared on the receptionist’s face, “Well fingers crossed its only soft tissue damage, but he’s in the waiting room behind waiting for an x-ray.”

“Thank you,” Ori smiled at the receptionist before quickly following his brothers’ stomping down the hallway.

“What the hell did you do?!” Nori demanded once his pitiful fiancé came into view, his tone making other patients glance at him warily.

“I didn’t mean to,” Dwalin whimpered, seeming to shrink beneath his fiancé’s glare.

“You giant idiot,” he growled, smacking Dwalin upside the head before pressing a desperate kiss to the bigger man’s lips.

“I’m sorry, Nori,” Dwalin mumbled leaning into his fiancé’s touch as gentle fingers stoked over his cheekbones, checking from any damage other than the obvious.

“Don’t ever do that to me again. It scared me half to death when Dori said you were in hospital,” Nori confessed, his fear fuelled anger draining from him as Dwalin gathered him into his arms. Carefully, so as not to aggravate the heavily bruised limb, Nori clambered into Dwalin’s lap and buried his face against his throat. Relishing the feeling of safety that came with the familiar scent and feel of the man surrounding him.

“I really am sorry,” Dwalin rumbled, “If we’re lucky then I’ve only bruised it.”

“That’s a pretty serious bruise,” Nori answered, looking down at the damaged leg. The skin starting off a mottled blue at the knee and getting blacker as it descended.

“Yeah,” Dwalin sighed, turning away from his mottled leg to instead watch as Thorin wilted before Dori. The oldest Ri giving him the third degree.

-x-

For half an hour they waited for their turn. Dori sat in front of them, glare shifting between Thorin and Dwalin, making them shift like naughty little boys. Bofur and Ori sat to one side quietly talking and watching all the different patients coming and going. Nori stayed curled up in Dwalin’s lap, picking at loose threads on the injured man’s shirt.

One x-ray followed by another half hour wait and the entire group piled into the nurse’s room.

“Well Mr. Fundinson, I have some good news for you,” she informed them, not even batting an eye at the sudden increase of people, “There’s no break, just extensive tissue damage.”

“No break?” Dwalin grinned at his fiancé perched on the arm of the wheelchair.

“No break. I’ll send you home with crutches though, as you should rest it for a few days. But after that, other than some tenderness and skin discolouration, everything should be fine for your wedding.”

“Thank Mahal,” Dori exclaimed before pointing an accusing finger between Dwalin and Thorin, “This doesn’t mean either of you are off the hook though.”

Both men gulped under the glare before Nori was tugging Dwalin to his feet, supporting his weight so he didn’t have to put any weight on his leg as the nurse bustled around sorting out crutches for the larger man.

Ten minutes and multiple questions from both Dori and Nori later saw the group finally leaving the department, with Nori hovering worriedly around Dwalin as he wobbled on his crutches like a new born foal.

“When we get home you’re heading straight for the sofa and elevating that leg.”

“Yes, Nori.”

“And you’re not to get up unless absolutely necessary.”

“Yes, Nori.”

“And…”

“Nori?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”


End file.
